Is That Weird?

What have I been doing and why haven’t I blogged since ‘nam? Well, I live by myself so no one can call my phone for me when I lose it. Which means, all of my time has gone to finding my phone every 12 minutes.  So how did I make the time to blog right now? Well… I outsmarted the system. I have set an alarm on my phone to go off every 30 minutes. That way when I lose my phone I don’t fret because I know I will find it when the alarm goes off.  Currently, I am relaxed and drinking a glass…a bottle of wine, with my phone… probably somewhere in the couch cushions but its not phasing me because I know I will find it in about 28 minutes when the alarm goes off. I am excelling at life. Side note: I also haven’t blogged in awhile because my doctor “un-prescribed” me from my Vyvanse because, in his words, I was “up to something.” My life, I swear…

Anyways, this post was inspired by Nick and Jess from New Girl.  If you don’t know anything about New Girl then skip these next few sentences and enjoy reading some confusing facts about me.  If you have seen the New Girl, I am referencing the episode where Schmidt says he is going to break Nick and Jess up.  So, Nick and Jess say every weird thing about themselves so Schmidt will have no material to use against them.  Which made me think “hmm what are weird things I would say about myself…”

Okay here we go… I would feel a lot better if people tell me they can relate to some of these things but I have a feeling that is just not going to be the case.

 

 

  1. When I arrive to my hotel room in a new city, I immediately feel the need to show the city a quick glance of my naked body by flashing my hotel window, is that weird? IMG_5104
  2. I am not fully convinced that dinosaurs don’t still walk among us and that they are just smaller than we expected and I am extremely hopeful that my theory is correct, is that logical?
  3. My friends and I have discovered that you can get someone to do anything you tell them to do by chanting their name and it is now a tool I use in my everyday life, is that subtle? 387636_1462172436337_310666786_n
  4. I cannot tell a story and/or speak at all unless I am standing up and using my whole body to reenact exactly what happened with every detail included, is that obnoxious?
  5. Every time I see a dance floor, I immediately get the urge to put both of my feet together, tighten my body into a pencil and jump as high and as fast as I can, right in the middle of the floor.  Due to experience, I also expect my herd of 15 girlfriends to join me at any time, is that weird? Same urge occurs when I hear “Starships.” 264202_191488247566947_2166696_n
  6. I am extremely outgoing and can talk to anyone but I freeze up and get really shy when I HAVE to talk to someone. Such as; the pizza man, a new potential friend someone tried to set me up with, the doctor, you get the point, is that weird?
  7. The texture and concept of milk gives me the heebie jeebies and I would rather be dead than watch someone drink it but I could probably (definitely) eat a bottle of ranch by the spoonful, is that weird? #RanchChallenge2016 Lets go.
  8. I consistently have dishes in my sink, two piles of laundry, and several piles of hoarded junk because I might need it some day (example: I have had a suitcase in my office for weeks that is filled with: an empty collapsible binder, a blown up picture of my college literature class, a pack of tuna, a Garmin, carpenters pencils, a workout Flipbelt, and a charger to an old MacBook) but if someone leaves their crumbs on the table or too many pairs of their shoes out then I get anxiety, is that weird? FullSizeRender (3)
  9. I cannot justify buying decorations for my apartment but when Christmas comes along it looks like Michaels and Targets holiday section threw up so much that my place could be featured in a Holiday catalog, is that practical?
  10. I don’t NOT have full conversations with Siri, my reflection in the mirror, or inanimate objects throughout my apartment, is that sane? IMG_5248
  11. Since I was four, I have had vivid nightmares about frogs, toads, and tadpoles.  Also, my shoulders just tensed up to my ears while typing frogs, toads, and tadpoles.  They did it again.  Is that weird?
  12. I completely psych myself out and get really scared because I think strangers are following me but the other day when I saw my stalker, at a bar looking at me and crying and he does not even live in this state and I didn’t even think he knew that I lived in this state (TX) because the last time I saw him was when he showed up at my door in Seattle (See previous post: “Low Self-Esteem: Get A Stalker),  I started laughing and thought it was a funny situation and I didn’t feel scared at all, is that weird?

 

Unfortunately, I am pretty positive that there will be a sequel to this weird things about me post because I am sure there are plenty more unusual things that I do and think. So, stay tuned.

Later Idiots.

 

 

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ashleybratton

ashleybratton Wondering who the heck I am? Well I’m just a girl wondering: “What in the world a blog is?!” Okay, “tell something about myself”… I am a 23 year old, St. Charles, Missouri native who just finished living in Seattle, WA for a year and is currently living in Austin, Texas. I have forgotten where commas are appropriate and where they are not and I have working in construction to blame for that. I have danced and played soccer all my life and I think I did every intramural sport I could sign up for in college, which was University of Central Missouri for me. GO MULES! Yes… Mules. I went to high school at THE St. Dominic, where upon graduation I was elected into a position that carried much responsibility and enormous dedication when my class awarded me with the highly prestigious and highly sought after title of… “Class Clown.” A moment I would brand as the pinnacle of my high school career although my guidance counselor did not seem to agree considering she “strongly suggested” I take it off the headline of my resume/completely off my resume all together. I have a difficulty believing that people care to take their time to read what I have to say. Especially, because of how all over the place I am. I go from diving deep into my faith into the next day completely questioning it, and from having the times of my life feeling like the happiest girl to feeling completely down…really down and dark and depressed, and from (as Queen Bey) would say “feelin’ myself” to looking in the mirror and absolutely hating what is staring back at me. So, if you are confused by what you are reading just know it’s not your fault. It is because you are reading something by a confused girl, a confused girl who loves run-on sentences! And of course, I will add in funny stories that have happened to me along the way, stories that have caused people to say to me, “I wish you would write a book.” I am a very awkward human and apparently awkward situations follow awkward humans. Disclaimer: I have no set theme for this site. I am just going to write as if I am journaling and talking to myself and if it reaches or touches one person out there… then mission accomplished. A pivotal part of my life is the organization I formed in college called Ladies Inspiring Versatility (LIV). I will dedicate a blog post that goes into more detail about this organization. Long story short, the mission of LIV is to help build confidence in young women and give them a place to call home. Once a week, we have meetings aimed at building confidence in themselves, schoolwork, campus involvement, networking and in others. We also do events outside of our weekly meetings, such as; volunteering in our community, formals, BBQs (we are Midwesterners after all) and events with other organizations, and the biggest event… Homecoming! (remember, we are ignoring my grammar) In this site, I am stripping down, “getting naked” and completely opening up with things that I have kept inside of me for my whole life, all in hopes to maybe helping someone out there going through some of the same things. Getting naked just for you. So, if I didn’t already scare you away… Come on and come read my crazy.

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